yellow
by kinselllas
Summary: i wrote a song for you, and all the things that you do. Sequel to 'hearts a mess'.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **_A lot of people wanted 'hearts a mess' to continue and I thought it would be too forced to just throw another few chapters in, because I had really meant to end it where I did. This takes place a few months after that one ended. A warning that Blair is involved with an OC, but after the last story she deserves some affection! I know you probably won't want to read their sex scenes, but it will be clear that Dan still invades her thoughts often. I know I keep starting new projects and that's probably annoying but I am just on an inspiration kick right now so I figured I'd post this stuff. _

_xo Gia_

Dan sits at the bar and swirls his drink, pensive. Serena left for Barcelona and it didn't tear a massive hole in him the way he thought it might. Perhaps it was because his thoughts were elsewhere. His _heart _was elsewhere.

Blair said she needed time, that she felt like she couldn't trust him for trying to steal the position, that she was still crushed by him consistently choosing Serena over her in the past year. They were best friends and now they're just both existing in each other's lives. He has dreams about her, in the throws of passion, his body getting tangled in his sheets. He hasn't slept with another girl since New Years Eve.

For someone who tried so hard to avoid loneliness, he did a terrible job.

"How's it going, man?" Nate squeezes his shoulder gently and slides into the stool next to him. His eyes are sympathetic. Nate has somehow filled Blair's role as the only person Dan can count on these days.

Dan glances up at his friend, smiling. "_The New Yorker_ took me on as an intern. Better late than never, right?"

"It's definitely a better fit for you than _W _was."

Nate orders a beer and they casually talk about work for awhile, meaning that Dan talks about work and Nate talks about which Senator's daughter he's been screwing recently. They both skate around the subject of the beautiful brunette who neither of them can seem to shake.

"Have you heard from her?" Dan asks, regretting the words as soon as they leave his mouth.

"We still talk a lot," he nods, taking a gulp of beer. "She seems happy. We're supposed to do some double date thing on Friday."

Dan's brow wrinkles in confusion. "Are _you_ her date?"

"Nah," Nate laughs, "Her boyfriend Walt is coming, and I'm bringing Alice."

Dan feels his fists clench involuntarily under the bar when he hears the word _boyfriend_ associated with Blair. He had no idea she was even dating anyone. So much for needing time to figure things out.

"Who the fuck is Walt?"

Nate's eyes widen, realizing he's said too much. "Dude, it's not a big deal. He's this English guy she met when she was in France over the holidays. He's in New York doing business for a few months so they've been seeing each other."

Dan rolls his eyes because Blair would choose a fucking Englishman of all people to start dating, especially after he tried to tell her he loved her. It must give her so much satisfaction to know she blew him off to date a guy with such a sophisticated name and an even more sophisticated accent. He hates that it makes him angry, but then he realizes this is probably what Blair felt all the time when he was with Serena.

xoxo

Blair giggles as she stands on the mattress and Walt grabs an ankle, yanking her legs out from under her. He props up on an elbow and grins at her, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to her lips. Blair ruffles his unruly blonde hair.

"Can I ask you something?" He asks, playing with the hem of her skirt distractedly.

Blair sits up a little and smiles. "Go ahead."

"Why is it that I've been here for two months and have yet to meet any of your friends?"

Her heart beats a little faster at the question as she tries to formulate an excuse, "You've met Epperly. And to be fair you're meeting Nate on Friday."

"Is Epperly actually your friend?" His head cocks to the side playfully, "She's rather a proper bitch if you ask me. And if I recall, I just about had to force you into inviting Nate and his girl to dinner."

Blair laughs and throws her head back into the pillow. "Your point?"

Walt follows her movements, sliding up the bed and letting his fingers trail the waistline of her underwear. Her breath hitches.

"My point is; What do you do in New York when I'm not here?"

She meets his teasing blue eyes and laughs a little more breathily as his fingers dip into the front of her panties. His middle finger slides along her clit gently and Blair grips a handful of sheets for control.

She had spent so much of her adulthood pining after that moron Dan Humphrey, that she had no idea what sort of things other men were capable of making her feel. It wasn't that she still had feelings for Dan, _of course not_. She just wasn't ready to let her happy bubble with Walt collide with her old world, a world that she was trying to rebuild.

Dan was so determined to prove that he was in love with her, and yet she couldn't stop thinking that things would be different had Serena not left New York. She feared Dan's loneliness had gotten the best of him.

Walt slips a finger inside of her and Blair moans against his ear, feeling her pulse race. He slides another finger in, but keeps his thumb pressed against her clit and Blair finds herself lifting her hips for friction.

"Fuck me," she mutters, and for a moment, imagines saying the same thing to Dan, catching him off guard and seeing the way his eyes darken with desire. He wouldn't really have a choice in the matter.

Walt pulls his boxer briefs off and hovers over her, taking in her appearance before entering her roughly. He props himself up and hooks one of her legs over his arm as he picks up speed.

Blair grips the headboard when she comes.

xoxo

Dan doesn't know what time he gets to the penthouse, all he knows is that he is way too drunk to be there. He leans on the table in the foyer and Dorota rushes upstairs to fetch Blair from her bedroom. She pads downstairs in her crimson silk robe, tightening it around her waist when she sees him.

"I told you I need time," she whispers harshly, shoving him lightly.

Dan ignores her push and steps closer to her, taking in her big brown eyes. "Who is Walt?"

Blair's eyes soften at his name, which frustrates Dan even more. "It's none of your concern, Humphrey."

"It is," he slurs. His hand reaches for her waist and pulls her closer to him, "I tried to tell you that I love you that night."

Her breath catches as she stares up at him, making no effort to push him away. Dan wants to kiss her, but the sad thing is he has no idea how to do that right now. He's practically frozen in place.

"What convenient timing," she says softly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Blair sighs, looking down. Her body is still pressed against his. "You move on quickly. I thought Serena was your destiny, or something cryptic like that."

Dan lets go of her and takes a step back, hurt by her words.

"I don't have a destiny," he says, quiet. "I have you."

Blair moves away from him and shakes her head. Her eyes are rimmed with tears. He never thought this is what they would become.

"You don't have me, Dan. You did," she sighs exhaustedly, "and you didn't care."

Dan wants to wrap her up in his arms, to tell her that he's an idiot. He could never see what was standing right in front of him. He'd let Serena dangerously consume him when the person he wanted had been by his side since freshman year of college, never forcing her way into his life or torturing him into loving her. She was his best friend, and then she wasn't anymore.

"Remember last time I was here?" he asks, mostly to break up the tension. "I'd told you that I wanted to be happy. Blair, _you_ make me happy. I think I can make you happy too."

Her eyes flutter shut and Dan thinks he can see the hint of a smile forming on her lips, but then she catches herself, shaking her head again.

"I'm already happy."

He takes a deep breath, not quite ready to give up. He moves closer to her again, his hand tilting her chin up to meet his eyes. She swallows and Dan thinks that she looks very vulnerable in that moment. It's beautiful.

"Only say 'no' if you really don't want to be with me," he says softly, keeping his eyes locked with hers.

"No."

When she says the word, Dan feels defeated. He nods, conceding, and makes his way back to the elevator. Feeling his heart clench as the doors shut and she's not standing next to him. He thinks of the time she made him watch _Downton Abbey _with her, and the same dialogue keeps running through his head in circles.

_We're cursed, you and I, and there's nothing to be done about it. Let's be strong, Mary. Let's be strong and accept that this is the end._

_**Of course it's the end. How could it not be?**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **_This story is not exactly what I expected it to be, but I started it such a long time ago that inspiration changes I suppose. Why can't these two idiots just be happy? BECAUSE THEY CAN'T. This is almost like self-insert fiction. The whole "We obviously really like each other but I can't deal with it so just let me move on… but you can't move on because I love you and I'll get jealous." Yeah, it never works. That's probably why this chapter is all Blair POV- I find myself pulling more and more from my own experiences as of the last few months. ANYWAY, I hope it's well received._

_I've gotten so much writing done lately it's weird? This never happens._

_Please review if you have a moment! I feel like I never ask that, but it's always nice to know that people are still reading._

_xo Gia_

Blair sorts the shoes in her closet by color. Then she arranges them from tallest to shortest heel. Two whole shelves are dedicated solely to her black shoes. They are staples to anything she wears.

Walt watches her in the doorway, amusement on his face.

"Are you ready yet, babe?" He asks, a sigh escaping him. "It looks tidy enough."

But Blair is not ready. She moves each pair of shoes so that they're facing her straight on, perfectly straight. Everything in her closet must be just _so_, just like everything in her life must be just _so_, which is why Dan Humphrey is not in her life anymore.

He was disruptive, an error in the system. And she tells herself that it was all physical, lust, because if there's one thing Blair is exceptional at, it's lying to herself.

Walt approaches her from behind and wraps his arms around her waist, causing her to skew a pair of shoes on the shelf.

"Dammit," she mutters. At least Humphrey knew to never disturb her when she was organizing her closet. He would wait patiently on her bed with a magazine until she was ready.

Walt says, "Relax," and the word alone causes her entire body to tense.

x

Dinner with Nate and Alice goes as expected. Blair can't get two words in because all Walt and Nate can talk about is soccer. She feigns interest in Alice's environmental work, but when Nate kicks her leg from under the table, she knows she's failing.

It had been exactly twenty three days since Dan Humphrey showed up at the pent house confessing his undying love and devotion. She had told him to let her move on and he listened. No phone calls, texts, no late night visits. He never showed up to her office with coffee and flowers. She hated what a good listener he was.

Externally, Blair had moved on. She had a man sitting next to her at the table, a man that she called her boyfriend. Walt had been staying at her place for the past couple weeks, since he found it more comfortable than a hotel.

So yes, externally Blair had moved on.

Internally, she still hadn't really let Dan go.

And as if the stars themselves were playing a trick on her, Dan Humphrey walks into L'Aperatif and passes their table.

His hair has gotten a bit longer, scruff covering the bottom of his face. Blair can feel her face flush immediately. Without thinking, she runs a few fingers through her waves, smoothing them out.

"Dan!" Nate yells, and Blair contemplates paying him back for his kick in the leg earlier.

"Nate, hey," he gives Nate's hand a soft slap. It isn't lost on Blair that his eyes light up as soon as he notices her. "Hey Blair."

She gives a gentle nod, "Humphrey."

His grin widens at the surname, and Blair finds herself smiling back, no control over her actions. It had been twenty three days, and damn it if she didn't still feel the same.

"Dan," Nate starts, to break the silence. "You've met Alice before, but this is Blair's _boyfriend_ Walt."

Dan breaks their gaze and his smile seems to falter for a moment, then he recovers.

"Right, cool. Nice to meet you," he nods, reaching to shake Walt's hand.

Nate invites Dan to join them, but he claims to be meeting someone, a claim that makes Blair's stomach twist. He waves a few tables down, and she looks over her shoulder at a beautiful redhead in a white cocktail dress. Blair compares the girl's tan skin to her own ivory complexion and cringes to herself.

He says a quick good bye and makes his way to the table, his back to Blair for the night.

Seconds later her phone vibrates and a text flashes across her screen.

_Relax Waldorf, she's just a friend._

Blair huffs, typing a quick response and shoving her phone back in her purse.

_The way Serena was your "friend?"_

Her fingers rattle on the table as she waits for a response that never comes. Blair rolls her eyes, sliding her phone back into the pocket of her purse and focuses her attention on Walt. She wills herself not to look over her shoulder again for the rest of the night.

And when Dan leaves, hand on his date's waist, Blair can't help the scoff that escapes her.

"They make a nice pair," Walt says, finishing his coffee.

Blair swallows, "Yep."

x

Blair doesn't know how she got to this point, stumbling to the bar at Marquee to order another gin and tonic.

Walt is back in England for a wedding and Blair is in the Upper East Side with only Nate and Alice to keep her company, which drives her to drink, excessively. She props her elbow up on the bar and ignores the lingering glances of the men near her.

"Blair!" A voice rings out over the music and Blair turns, still holding the bar for balance. She rolls her eyes, takes a long sip from her drink.

"Are you stalking me now?" She hates herself for saying it, hates how immature she comes off sometimes. But Dan doesn't seem to mind, just smiles and shakes his head.

"I'm here with some guys from _The New Yorker_, and well, it's kind of hard not to notice you." His eyes flicker over her tight maroon dress and Blair feels herself blushing. _It's just the alcohol_, she tells herself.

His look is very understated, the sleeves of his grey shirt pushed up and a pair of black jeans that ride slightly too low for Blair not to notice the band of his briefs. She had gotten used to him wearing suits to work. Blair blinks a few times to force herself back into focus.

"Nate's here somewhere," she slurs, "with Alice. I can't really stand her so I'm avoiding them."

Dan laughs, his head tipped back. She missed his laugh. "Not interested in saving the world and all that?"

Blair smiles, meeting his eyes. She knew he was bound to go into a Humphrey speech about supporting your friends' relationships even when you didn't necessarily agree with their choices. He used to do that when he was still seeing Serena. Of course, Blair's instincts ended up being right about that one.

"So, where's Walt?" He asks, the question causing him to tense slightly.

Blair sets her glass on the bar and licks her lips, careful. "Out of the country for the weekend."

Dan nods a few times, seemingly satisfied with her answer.

He leans close, his mouth pressed to the shell of her ear, "I miss you. All the time."

Blair takes a deep breath, her chest feeling tight and heavy, nods. "I miss you, too."

She can feel his smile on the shell of her ear, teeth grazing it gently.

"Where's your girlfriend?" Blair asks, voice weak.

Dan doesn't respond, just rolls his eyes. He changes the subject and they try to talk about other things, _normal _things: work, family, friends. Anything to avoid the subject of each other's romantic relationships. _Although she had yet to confirm that Dan was in fact in a relationship._ The avoidance eventually stalls and they're left with a few moments of silence. Blair stares out at the dance floor, but she can feel Dan's eyes still on her profile.

"I want to kiss you right now," he says. She hates his voice, the way he can sound so shy, yet so sure of himself.

"You think that's a good idea?" Blair asks, tilts her head to the side.

Dan sighs, stepping closer to her. She can feel heat radiating from his body.

He leans down, his face inches from hers.

"I think it's a terrible idea," he whispers.

Blair swallows, a hand rising to his chest. Dan moves in closer, but Blair is already gently pushing him away by the fabric of his shirt. She closes her eyes and lets out a deep breath, before turning and making her way to the exit.

She rides home in a cab listening to Alice's work with state parks on the West Coast.


End file.
